Oh, right. I guess I should finally get to the whole \"what it feels like to get your dick sucked\" part of this article. I\'m sorry, I didn\'t know I had so many feelings regarding this subject. OK, so getting your dick sucked can feel one of three ways: Amazing, painful or like nothing at all. Seriously. I once was with someone ages ago who would go down on me and it would feel like air. I would have to check to see what he was doing down there because it felt like nothing was happening. In a way, I guess this is a good thing. If someone\'s bad at giving head, it\'s best that it feels like nothing rather than painful hell. But it still weirded me out. How can you put a mouth on a penis and have nothing happen??!!

The best part of a blowjob for me is not when they\'re going down on me, but when they come up for air and start jacking you off. They\'ve lubricated your dick so well with their mouth that it\'s created a pleasurable waterslide (BTW, too much saliva is a bad thing. I once was with someone who drowned my penis and it made my dick so sensitive that I would have spasms if he touched it. Quell embarrassing!) Anyway, the moment a guy comes up and starts jacking me off, it feels amazing. Kind of like I\'m going to pop/explode/whatever. The actual sensation of a mouth on your penis feels exactly like how you would think. However, it\'s the mixture of saliva and what you do with your hands that makes it go off the charts.

One thing you should know about how it feels to get your D sucked? It\'s a fine line between pleasure and crippling anxiety. As you may know, all men aren\'t created equal. Some take 5 minutes to cum (bummer) and some take 30 (exhausting bummer). If a dude is taking too long, it\'s kind of crazy how mental he can become. He feels terrible that you\'re working so hard and there\'s still no orgasm at the end of the blowjob tunnel. Of course this anxiety makes it impossible for him to cum, and then it becomes a blowjob aborted. With most sex stuff, most of it is all mental.

Blowjobs are fun. Blowjobs are stressful. Blowjobs are major work. Blowjobs are the kindest gesture. But they\'re really not all that complicated. In fact, I would ki.. to know what it feels like to get eaten out. Or just what it feels like to have a vagina in general.

Many of my girlfriends have asked me the question, "What does it feel like to receive a blowjob?" They tell me that they yearn for a penis just so they can experience it themselves. I, for one, understand this completely. I can't imagine clocking in countless blowjob hours without a guarantee that you're going to get yours. I like giving them mostly because I like penis. As a gay man, it's sort of in my job description. But I'm not sure how pumped I would be if a blowjob wasn't promised to me in return (unless of course, I loved the dude and we were in a relationship. Then you don't keep score.)

But even though you should return the favor, it doesn't mean you're going to want to, especially if you're with someone you don't care about. And that's okay! Because above all else, giving a blowjob is exhausting. I'm not just saying that to be cute because oh my god, they don't call it blowJOB for nothing, right?! No. I'm just saying that giving someone a blowjob is an amazing gift. It's better than paying for dinner at Buca di Beppo, it's better than filling someone's gas tank up, it's better than paying for the movie and popcorn. It's "Let me move my mouth up and down on something jarring while using both of my hands feverishly. Let me sweat in really unattractive ways and be in a really vulnerable position." Even though blowjobs are less intimate than something like anal sex, they're still a sexual act that requires trust and understanding. Like you could be really bad at giving head (it's really hard) and you want to make sure you're with someone who won't judge you. You want to be with someone who's willing to correct years of bad technique because they care! (Unless it's a one night stand type of situation. Then there's no need for the Sting and Trudie Styler kind of communication. Just do your thing, let him do your thing, and get out.)

You know what's the worst? When you're giving head and someone pushes your head down further so you choke on their dick. It's like, "Can you not? I know you want to feel like you have a huge penis right now but it really hurts and makes me feel degraded. So cut it out!" I always get uncomfortable when someone's going down on me and I look up and they're staring at me dead in the eye. I know it's supposed to be sexy or whatever, but it just kind of freaks me out.

I don't have to try very hard to be open-minded when it comes to sex. Even stuff that isn't up my alley, I accept as a mere difference of opinion and sexual desires. While there are things I will say no to, there are things that I've yet to try, am suspicious about but give it a whirl anyway. You can never truly know for sure how you feel about something until you've actually tried it out. I also like to be pushed to the brink of something that makes me uncomfortable; not scared, but almost awkward. There's something tantalizing about it, and the inability to see what the next second or minute will offer is exciting. But despite this enjoyment for the unknown and something new, a footjob is something I just can't get behind for some reason.

I have been asked by two different men in my life for me to give them a footjob. In case you're new to this word, it's a handjob with your feet and seems to be something that men with foot fetishes crave. The last thing most men I know want is anyone's feet on their cock, but these two particular fellas requested it.

The first time I was asked was several years ago -- it was actually the same person who kept trying to lick my armpit. Since I wouldn't hand over my armpit to his tongue, I figured I'd try this whole footjob thing because it seemed so absurd, we could laugh about it. However, as I learned, people with foot fetishes do not laugh at such things because it's really fucking sexual for them. As I watched him pour the lube on his dick in preparation for what I agreed to do, I burst into laughter as he leaned toward me to direct his manly bit between my feet. I couldn't help thinking how I must have appeared rather monkey-like with my feet turned inward like that and I wondered if this could be the first step in being able to do other things with my feet like write a poem or cook a proper dinner. I couldn't do it.

It was just a couple weeks ago when I was asked yet again for a footjob by the Tattoo Guy. I stared blankly at him without saying a word. My mind immediately went back to how I envisioned myself years before as I was laying on that fella's bed just picturing myself as a monkey who was about to feed herself a banana with her feet. Again, I just couldn't it. It's too entertaining for me, that I would feel bad laughing at something that my partner thought was really sexy. It would be a bit like mocking, which I wouldn't be doing, but I think that's still how it may have come out.

But now I'm wondering that maybe it was wrong of me not to do it. Maybe I should have tried it for the sake of experience or at least a good story. I usually do most things for the sake of story, so I'm not sure why I passed up that opportunity. Maybe it was because I was in need of a pedicure.

Fast-forward a year. My high school boyfriend and I broke up after his departure to college, and my friends and I were asked to junior prom by the boys in the grade below us. At this point, I had thoughtfully considered my mother and Oprah's concerns, and decide to just skip the oral sex.

The dance had ceased and the after-party had commenced. Before I knew it, Ryan* and I were in someone's brother's bed. I knew Ryan in the same way I know a lot of people in my hometown -- our brothers grew up playing on the same sports team, and at some point in time we began to acknowledge our friendship, or at least acquaintanceship. Well, this night we got to know each other much better.

Having only ever slept with one other person, I was surprised by how agilely he navigated my body. He molded me into position after position with the ease of a porn star. Earlier that night, his fancily gelled hair and awkwardly large tux subconsciously told me he meant business, but I couldn't help but be surprised and impressed with his bedroom cool.

Immediately after, as he hovered above me in push-up position, he reached toward his hipbone and feigned retrieval of something from his pocket. Granted, he was naked -- there was no pocket. He proceeded to pull an imaginary card from his "pocket" and handed it to me.

"What is this?" I asked.

"My V-card. It's all yours."

Blindsided again. Should have just stuck with a BJ.



In hindsight, I realize how out of touch I was with my body and sexuality in high school. To be honest, I often still feel mystified by the incredible variance in sexual comfort levels, and often struggle to define my own comfort threshold. I have friends who have slept with triple the amount of people I have and other friends who are still virgins. For some reason the common denominator is that we're all constantly quantifying our sexual experiences.

I myself have what I can only describe as a number fixation. Every so often I catch myself treating my sex life like a diet, and half-jokingly declaring, "I'm watching my numbers." I'm also slightly notorious for demanding to know any new partner's number well before the conversation is anywhere near appropriate.

Although difficult to completely define, I believe the pressure I feel to keep my number low is a product of both internal and external factors. I will never claim to be immune to the virgin-whore dichotomy so often projected onto women. Somewhere along the way, media, cultural tradition, family and religious standards have told me I am worth less as a woman if I am "damaged goods." I'm reluctant to admit acquiescence to negative misogynistic constructs, but I think it's important to acknowledge the effect they've had on my self-evaluation.

However, I'll hand it to you, Mom. Sex is intimacy. Time spent having sex with a person belongs to only you two. Never are you more vulnerable than those moments in the bedroom. In my opinion, it's important to acknowledge that sex is complicated and personal. Reflection on your own definition of sexuality is time well spent. Ignore Oprah, carry the V-card in your wallet with pride and own your number -- be it zero, one or 100.

In 2006, Oprah Winfrey sent suburban mothers across the nation into frenzy with her exposé on the oral sex epidemic unique to America\'s youth. Oprah -- in her infinite wisdom and grace -- broached the subject with a dramatic and weighted, \"Parents, brace yourself.\" I never saw the full episode, but can only assume Oprah proceeded to depict a scene in which sixteen-year-old girls, such as myself at the time, were gobbling penises by the dozen. Within a week of the program, my two best friends and I had all received the \"you-aren\'t-doing-this-are-you?\" confrontation from our respective mothers.

I now realize conversations of this nature must have been as uncomfortable for my poor mother as they were for me. The moments before beginning this sort of conversation must be like standing at a precipice, filled with dread and butterflies. Finally, she would garner enough courage and dive right into the topic with what came off as little tact or consideration.

\"So, tell me what you know about oral sex.\" What? Shit. Where is this coming from? Blindsided! What is the right answer? Should I come clean? Shit. Shit.

\"Well, I don\'t know. What do you mean? I know what it is. It sounds gross to me,\" I shot back both indignantly and cautiously.

At this point in time, I had been with the same boyfriend for three years. Yeah, we had been engaging in oral sex.

This wasn\'t our first time around the block with the \"birds and the bees\" talk. My mom had played this card before, and conditions were always the same: Coerce me into running errands with her, wait until the car is moving and doors are locked and casually bring up the least casual discourse a mother and a teenager can engage in. Every time I was overcome with nausea and carefully assessed my options -- open the car door and throw myself into oncoming traffic, and/or simply break into a fit of guilty tears. I have to admit, it\'s a brilliant tactic -- the in-car sex talk.

\"Well, do you have any friends who do that sort of thing?\" she pressed.

\"I mean, I\'ve heard of people doing it. I don\'t know anyone really well, though. Mostly the more loose girls. None of my friends.\"

Using terms she\'s comfortable with was a strategy I had developed over the years. \"Loose\" to describe \"slutty,\" \"rubbers\" to describe \"condoms,\" \"intimacy\" to describe \"boning.\" It was important to make her feel comfortable and convinced so the conversation would end as quickly and painlessly as possible.

\"Good, because I\'ve heard that ki.. these days are shockingly nonchalant about oral sex. You know, that\'s something extremely intimate -- like post-marriage. I mean, my generation really never even considered that as something to do except with someone you\'re extremely comfortable with, like your husband.\"

Oh, Jesus-fucking-Christ. She\'s talking about Dad.

Aha... so you want to create your own PUA openers do you?
Interesting.
Openers are a delicate subject actually, especially in the PUA community.
Some guys think that by having a solid opener it means that she'll be easier to crack as the girl is more open than if it was a terrible opener, based on the sub-communicative first impression.
Other guys think that openers are bullshit and it doesn't matter what you say (these guys are usually more open to being direct).
WHAT DO I THINK?
Well I think there's a place for both direct and indirect approaching, but no matter how you see it, both are using openers.
Now you've probably scoured the forums and even read through some PUA openers here, but none have stood out to you or you don't think they "suit your personality".
That's cool, because today I'm going to show you how to create your own custom PUA opener which will catch a girls attention, keep her intrigued and also help to build rapport (attraction).
So let's get started...
HOW TO CREATE YOUR OWN CUSTOM PUA OPENERS
STEP 1: KNOW YOUR SKILL LEVEL
What's your current skill level with game? Are you starting out... been gaming like a madman for 6 months or are you a pro?
Before you can create an opener, you must understand what level you're at. Why? Because if you create an opener that requires a lot of balls to say, then you're not going to convey the right amount of confidence that's needed if you've never approached a girl before.
STEP 2: WHAT'S YOUR STYLE?
Once you understand your level of game, you now need to determine your style of game. What do I mean by that? Well I mean... are you ballsy with a touch of alpha male? Are you more timid and shy? Your opener should match your style.
For example, if you're timid and shy then you'll want to use an indirect situational opener and ask for directions or maybe even ask an opinion structured question.
Then again if you're more confident, then a direct statement is the way to go.
STEP 3: STATEMENT OR QUESTION
Ok so you know your style and skill level, now it's time to structure the opener based on the following questions...
Direct or indirect?
Statement or question?
Where are you? (Mall, gas station, nightclub, bar, park, coffee shop, beach etc)
Is she on her own or with friends?
If yes, is it a mixed group or all girls?
An example:
Let's say I'm a programmer who never goes out and has only ever had 1 girlfriend. That would mean I'm shy, timid and not very confident around women. I've also never directly approached a girl before.
I'd like to use an indirect approach because of my skill level and I'm going to go for a question, or an observation because it's better suited to my personality and style.
On my lunch break I go to a busy coffee shop (almost everyday) and it's always full of cute girls seen as though it's in the centre of town.
I spot a girl who is on her own and drinking a latte or something, whilst on her laptop. I'd say something like...
"Excuse me, do you know where there's another one of these coffee shops around here, there's no way I'm jumping on that looooong queue..."
OR
"Hey, what's that ice cream looking thing you're drinking?"
OR
"Hey, is anyone sitting there? (she says no) Cool, can you do me a favour and hold that spot (put your jacket or bag in the space) while I grab a coffee?" - Then when you sit down, say thank you and open back up.
STEP 4: PRACTICE YOUR DELIVERY AND REFINE
I suggest you write down around 5 PUA openers to begin with and practice them day in day out for the next 30 days. By practicing the same openers, you'll get REALLY good at them and you'll also naturally refine them so they just roll off the tongue and sound completely natural.

COMMON QUESTIONS GUYS ASK...
Things I get asked often by guys when it comes to PUA routines are:
When should I stop using them?
I'd say a few months after starting, like I said above... use them as training wheels until you get comfortable talking to women. Canned material is great for a VERY short period of time.
Are there any guaranteed routines?
Nope. Nothing is guaranteed unless you can control a woman's mind with some Harry Pothead magic.
How do I create my own PUA routine?
I wouldn't bother, but if you're eager to create your own then you should start with an opener that creates intrigue (makes her WANT to answer you)... move onto conversational topics use attraction spikes (uses DHV's) and work on a good close.
So that's it big man... use them, go nuts and refine them until you're game is producing results. Then ditch them! Otherwise you'll get sucked into canned odd ball crazy mofo pickup stuff... which I'm dead against.


PREGUNTAS COMUNES CHICOS PIDEN ...
Las cosas que me hacen a menudo por los hombres cuando se trata de rutinas PUA son:
¿Cuándo debo dejar de usarlos?
Yo diría que unos meses después de comenzar, como he dicho antes ... los utilizan como ruedas de entrenamiento hasta que se sienta cómodo hablando con mujeres. Material enlatado es genial para un período muy corto de tiempo.
¿Hay rutinas garantizados?
Nope. Nada está garantizado a menos que usted puede controlar la mente de una mujer con un poco de Harry Pothead magia.
¿Cómo puedo crear mi propia rutina PUA?
No me molestaría, pero si usted está ansioso por crear su cuenta, entonces debería comenzar con un abridor que crea intriga (hace querer contestarle) ... pasar a temas de conversación utilizar atracción picos (utiliza DHV de) y trabajar en un buen cierre.
Así que eso es todo hombre grande ... las utilizan, se vuelven locos y refinarlos hasta que esté juego está produciendo resultados. A continuación, deshacerse de ellos! Si no usted dejarse atrapar por enlatada extraña bola loca mofo cosas camioneta ... que estoy totalmente en contra.

KEEP IT DOWN ROUTINE
This is a playful approach that requires you to be on top of you game but works when you're in a loud bar or club.
Quick how-to:
1. Walk over to a group of women and ask them to be quiet (with a straight face).
2. Follow up with "Guys come on, you're ruining our night over here with your incredibly loud conversation..."
3. Make eye contact with the girl you like and move onto another routine with her or just say "Obviously I'm kidding... blah blah..."
For a detailed rundown of the keep it down routine I recommend you read this.
THE RING FINGER ROUTINE
Another cold reading technique that is designed to spike intrigue. You also throw in a time constraint which allows you to stay and talk but have her think that you're about to leave.
Quick how-to:
1. Notice her rings and ask her if she always wears her rings on those fingers (if she isn't wearing any, ask and when she does... what fingers she wears them on).
2. Explain the reasoning behind each finger (use this as an excuse to touch her hands). You roll through the meanings... pinky for Ares, index finger for Zeus etc.
3. When she asks how you know this stuff you say that your ex-girlfriend was really into mythology.
For a detailed rundown of the ring finger routine I recommend you read this.
THE CAMERA ROUTINE
You need to be high energy for this one, so make sure you've spoken to a few successful sets beforehand. The idea is to create a playful teasing vibe by taking a group photo of girls and then not showing them what it looked like.
Quick how-to:
1. Action to a group of girls that you want to take their picture (If you do this right, any girl will pose for a photo).
2. Make s face once the photo is taken as if to say... woah that didn't look good. So that the girls want to see it.
3. Try and walk away, one of the girls will grab you.
For a detailed rundown of the camera routine I recommend you read this.

TOP 5 PUA ROUTINES COLLECTION
THE CUBE
The cube is great for cold reading a girl to build deep levels of rapport and make her think you have an in-depth understanding of her. It's pretty long so will take you a few practice goes before you get really good at it, but once you do... cold reading is one of the best ways to hook a girl.
Your tone should be serious and mysterious.
Quick how-to:
1. Prep the girl by letting her know that you're a very intuitive guy and say that you want to show her something.
2. Ask her to imagine a scene with three things... sky, horizon and desert.
3. Ask her to imagine a cube... where is it? How big is it? What's the colour? What's it made of? (proceed to asking questions on flowers, horse, ladder, storm etc).
4. Give her the results and watch her face drop in amazement.
For a detailed rundown of the Cube I recommend you read this.
5 LIES GAME
Great little game for catching her out and teasing her at a bar or club, it will build attraction quickly if done properly. You can also hold a set with this.
Quick how-to:
1. Ask her if she wants to play a quick game, because she looks like a playful kind of girl. You can place a drink bet or you can just use it as a playful approach.
2. Explain the question game to her (the aim is to lie as long as you can).
3. Proceed with asking her 5 questions... (What colour is my shirt, how old are you, what's the name of this bar... etc).
4. Catch her out... boom attraction built!
For a detailed rundown of the 5 lies game I recommend you read this.

Ahhh good old PUA routines.
I remember the days when I used to use PUA routine stacks on every single girl I met... and sometimes they worked for me, but a lot of the times they didn't.
This is why I moved onto more natural game, stealth attraction techniques and learning how women tick.
However, even though I don't use routines or canned stuff anymore, I still think they're a good tool for any aspiring pickup artist to use in their first few months of learning game.
Think of them as your training wheels for building comfort around women and feeling confident in yourself to the point where you can transition away from canned material to a more fluid and natural style.
Ok so enough with the waffle... let's get onto what I consider to be the top 5 PUA routines...


Buenas rutinas PUA viejos Ahhh.
Recuerdo los días en que yo solía utilizar pilas de rutina PUA de todas las chicas que conocí ... y, a veces trabajaba para mí, pero muchas de las veces que no lo hicieron.
Por eso me mudé a juego más natural, técnicas de atracción de sigilo y aprender cómo las mujeres motiva.
Sin embargo, a pesar de que yo no uso las rutinas o cosas enlatadas más, sigo pensando que son una buena herramienta para cualquier artista del ligue que aspiran a utilizar en sus primeros meses de juego de aprendizaje.
Piense en ellos como sus ruedas de entrenamiento para la construcción de la comodidad con las mujeres y con mucha confianza en ti mismo hasta el punto en el que puede pasar lejos de material enlatado a un estilo más fluido y natural.
Ok por lo que basta con la galleta ... vayamos a lo que yo considero que son los 5 mejores rutinas PUA ...